It’s cold and I’m still sick.
There is still snow on the ground and it looks very sad. It’s dirty and some of it has frozen in funny shapes. It’s no longer pristine, and this fact makes me sad.
And I’m feeling blah and I find myself with very little to write about (thus negating that one blog entry where I said I was content and that makes it hard to write).
I’m sick, and I have writer’s block. And I have a rambunctious toddler whose nap has become the pivotal element in my sanity; and now I have a cat, back to her peeps but not so sure about the baby. In fact, she is rather terrified of him, though she does let him pet her every once in a while– when he manages to corner her while squeaking excitedly, "Gacie! GaTah! Eeetty!"
Our toddler babbles bilingually, which is pretty cute to watch.
And I think I have a fish whose days are numbered because Mademoiselle Gracie (the cat) has figured out that there is a living creature within her hunting scope. I just know this is going to suck very badly and it will involve lots of water splashing out of the bowl and possibly the purchase of many little guppies to sacrifice to Furry She-Devil.
And my last bit of whining…. which is silly.
When we listen to classical music on quiet afternoons such as this one, I miss my little bit of California more than ever, and it hurts a little.
I think that more than missing the place, I feel like there is a part of my life that is gone forever and no amount of retreading will bring it back. As we all age and move forward, we saddle ourselves with so many different bits and pieces of…. stuff, that when we try to be lighthearted the effort winds up being painful,as we have to shed layers of things we’ve saddled ourselves with over the years.
But once the stuff is sloughed off, we can breathe. And new room is freed up to saddle ourselves up with more, new, shinier stuff.
I hope any of that made sense.
ETA: It’s not all dreary. Here is something pretty to hopefully make you smile: it’s my (Canadian) African Violet, Miss Violet, soaking up the rays. Enjoy.