A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Mind-Dumping/Hi Alyson!

Okay. Several things:

1. Mr. And Mrs. Smith was a pretty good movie, actually. It was funny, and witty, and had really good action scenes. And it really felt, in the end, more like an allegory for a marriage, plain and simple. Which actually was surprisingly easy to convey, because almost every single line was a double entendre, and most were pleasantly hilarious. My only true pet peeve with the movie?

“We met in Colombia, five or six years ago.”
“Yeah… in Bogotá…” (wistful flashback to a place that looks kind of like Ensenada, Mexico).

Okay lookit, producer people and scout location people: you wouldn’t think of filming a scene that called for the main characters to be in a European Capital by going down to Tijuana, would you? If you had a really tight budget, you KNOW you’d at least spring for Toronto, wouldn’t you?
So why, if the script calls for a South American capital, your first knee-jerk instinct is to look for the crappiest, shabbiest, most lead-based-paint-scaled place on the face of the earth, huh? I mean…. granted, there ARE really shabby, crappy, dirty, fallen-down areas. And yes, there are areas where people build houses out of PVC tubing and cardboard. But there are also tall buildings and pretty houses and landmarks that would not appear like a sleepy tropical village from an aerial shot, jeez! Also, I do not mean any offense to Mexico with my remarks. It would ALSO be as if they chose an aerial shot of Ensenada for Mexico City, one of the biggest cities in the world.
People! Do some friggin’ research! In Bogotá– this would be my other peeve that drove me into conniption fits during the first 20 mins. of movie– people wouldn’t be drinking their aguardiente in a soaked, sexy stupor in the middle of the night wearing something very skimpy and tropical. EVER. (Or who knows…. maybe they would be, if they’d just gotten robbed at gunpoint).
I know. You’ve been taught that the tropics are ALL hot. But you forget that 8000+ feet of height add this funny element to any location, which we generally call “cold weather.” Jesus! Bogotá is not very tropical, trust me. And it’s certainly not tropical right before dawn, where the temperature usually drops to freezing all over the plateau, and ice crystals form on the grass some days. See? Not that sexy.

2. Dear people of Florida who reconstruct your flimsy and underprotected homes:
If you would like to be out of the direct path of hurricanes, move to another state (preferably not coastal Alabama or Georgia– just a suggestion). I feel deeply for your plight and the fear that it brings; but I can’t say that, based on your decision to reconstruct your little shack close to the beach, I would give you any props for your intelligence and willingess to learn from your mistakes. Perhaps I just need to be illuminated as to why you still place yourselves in shabby constructions and mobile homes across the Florida beaches. Perhaps any Floridians would care to set me straight in that matter.

3. Hi Alyson! Sorry it took me a day or two, but please Click here!

4. OMG…. Mr. Me is alive!!!! Dude, keep a pregnant woman a little more abreast of things, will you? And update your blog!

Have a good weekend, all! :oD

This entry was published on July 9, 2005 at 2:50 pm and is filed under Soapboxing. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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