A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

November Fourth Can’t Be Here Soon Enough

This morning as I was enjoying a decaf cappuccino, there was some guy who just couldn't keep things to himself.

He was beating away at his computer and ardently talking to a friend about politics, providing facts and statistics and complex-sounding factoids and just being LOUD.  No two ways about it: the man's voice reverberated throughout the space like a ping pong ball– zipping along and hitting every ear in the room.

I kept on trying to enjoy myself, but I just found his obstreperousness, his general lack of civility, his complete and total solipsism, rude.

First off, I was offended that he hadn't noticed just how loudly he was talking.  Now, we all have our quirks and our foibles because we're human; however, surely he could notice that his voice was loud enough to dominate the din of AN ENTIRE RESTAURANT?  At the very least, if he was aware, then he was pleased he was hijacking our ears, and that makes him even more rude.

But the fact that irritated me more than his obnoxious nasally jangle was the fact that he was spouting off political rhetoric like the wonkiest political wonk that ever wonked.

Look buddy: I may not be Miss Manners, but I can tell you that it's still considered RUDE to talk politics in mixed company, let alone vociferate your political opinions LOUDLY and in a public place while people are simply trying to get some breakfast.  It's a matter of etiquette, my dear man.


Yes, I know, someone approached you and told you just how "passionate" you are about your political views and I'm sure you were ever so chuffed but let me break this one to you: she was politely telling you you were one OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD INDIVIDUAL.  See? 

Passionate = loud, braying person = total ass.

I'm sure you and your mommy are very proud that you seem to have a keener grasp of the electoral process than most; although WE ARE IN WASHINGTON D.C., the mecca for political wonky-nerdiliciousness, so the fact that you're not sitting at an office or running around regaling a more puissant and politically-inclined audience than a few stay-at-home mothers, student-looking people and assorted retirees with your decibel-challenged rhetoric only tells me that you're a pathetic wannabe who should go home and write all your eloquence down on your blog (oooh, the irony here is killing me…. wait.. okay I'm better now) and link up to dailykos or something so that people can give you the feedback you so desperately want.

In other words: shut. up.

This entry was published on November 3, 2008 at 6:12 pm and is filed under NaBloPoMo. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

5 thoughts on “November Fourth Can’t Be Here Soon Enough

  1. Amen, mah sistah! I get to listen to this ad nauseum at the Caribou at 15th and M after work. (Does not help that it’s two doors down from the Washington Post.)
    Hallelujah for 11/5/08.

  2. Girl! You have such a way with words (seriously, I had to look a couple of those up in the dictionary – I blame it on my French upbringing). I remember being on a bus once with a woman who was chatting on her cell phone about what to eat for dinner or some such thing. She was talking so loud, I felt like I was at a frickin’ rock concert without the music to drown her out. Clue-Less.

  3. “Passionate = loud, braying person = total ass”
    Braying? Ass? The man’s a Democrat, then?

  4. Hey, lurker from NaBloPoMo here, just wanted to say I’m enjoying your blog muchly.
    Loud conversationists are the worst, try taking a London bus in rushhour. I’d swear some of them are trying to sonicly shatter windows…
    Keep up the posting! Looking forward to next installment :o)

  5. I was lurking around NaBloPoMo and ran across your blog.
    This is the best line EVAH:
    But the fact that irritated me more than his obnoxious nasally jangle was the fact that he was spouting off political rhetoric like the wonkiest political wonk that ever wonked.
    Great blog.

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