A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

On Wild Turkeys and Other Wattlers

Wattle, Wattle!, originally uploaded by Madame Meow.

Lately I've been drawn to including more visuals in my posts. Perhaps you may have noticed, but it's quite okay if you haven't.

We're visual people. Chances are that things you remember very vividly you can actually see in your mind– they conjure such powerful emotions that they also bring a video feed all their own. The senses are very powerful overall. I realize I'm just flooding you with platitudes, but… wattle.

Wattle. Yes, wattle.


A wattle, dewlap or caruncle is something fleshy that seems to grow out of from an animal or even a plant. Wild turkeys have a minor little red dewlap appearing to join their beaks to their throat. It's small but dignified, because wild turkeys are kind of that way– smallish in the head area but overall dignified in their birdness.

(Also, I think this being a girl specimen accounts for the smallness and grayness of her facial features)

Certainly they are not as showy as a bald eagle, which is why they are not our national bird and powerful, betaloned, carrion-eating symbol of our nation, despite the awesomeness of Benjamin Franklin. But they are clever, cunning, smart animals. After all, they are wild. 

They also do not eat carrion, but fetch their own grainy living.  Another point for the turkeys, I think.

Back to wattles.


It is appropriate for a bird to have a wattle.

It is appropriate for a lady of a certain age to have loose neck skin (the sure sign of aging) that sags forward somewhat, giving the impression of a wattle.

It is also appropriate for said woman to apply lotions and to tone her neck as much as possible, while also realizing that this is a normal part of the aging process. A tasteful scarf can conceal; a lovely necklace can draw attention instead to the décolleté– which should ideally also be kept moisturized and not overly revealed.

A woman of a certain age should NOT absentmindedly, while in idle conversation, play with her neck wattle or stretch it out lazily to the dimensions of an iguana.

She should not let her saggy neck, already insulted by such a poor treatment, endure further pulling and twisting.

She should moisturize it.

She should avoid showcasing it and the poor, sad, red, sunburnt aforementioned décolleté, especially in plunging necklines that could possibly draw the eye to her (perhaps) surgically enhanced bosom.

She should be more dignified, and leave the wattle to those who can carry it with grace and dignity: the turkeys.

And really, she (or might I say, "shes") should not have given me such a traumatizing visual so that now every time I see a turkey all I can do is visualize a middle aged woman (or women) with angry red stretched necks and the struggling lack of dignity that can only come from not realizing that you're no longer a tantalizing object of lust but something that can be more easily equated to poultry.

This entry was published on October 6, 2008 at 8:24 pm and is filed under Photoblogging. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “On Wild Turkeys and Other Wattlers

  1. I will never look at turkeys the same again… ☺

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