I’m a word person.
So this afternoon, when an old-school Mercedes SL tried to mow me down as I did my best to signal my intention of moving to the right lane because the exit for 6th street S.E. was coming in less than 500 feet, I tried not to take it as a sign of a higher power –and one of specifically the Judeo-Christian persuasion– when the license plate bore the vanity license plate "AGAPE".
Agape, for those of you not familiar with it, is a Greek word for love, and it is usually associated with the ultimate kind of love –like not just love "love" but like "laaaaaaaaaaaaahve" kind. The kind that nurtures you from the inside. The kind that makes you believe you can do it. The one that people invoke when talking about a higher power.
I will give Ms. Agape the benefit of the doubt and imagine her rushing in her car, nervous and preoccupied. Maybe she had bills to pay or kids to pick up. Maybe she was late for an important meeting. However, that doesn’t make me feel really all that much better.
Knowing that there is at least one person out there who thinks she is the vehicular personification of divine love but refuses to show a fellow vehicle a simple act of courtesy and kindness– such as allowing a car into your lane instead of speeding up happens to be– is depressing and a very good illustration of why most outwardly religious people (note: "most" was used, not "all") are hypocrites who look down on people who may be confused about religion or who may not hold the same religious views as others. And knowing that this wanton, merciless asshole woman actually paid the District of Columbia extra money to have a potentially untruthful and decidedly overbearing message emblazoned on her car makes me chuckle– in the weird, twitchy-eyed, maniacal kind of way.
Then again, maybe she meant to have the word "agape" on her car– as in, "My driving is so awesomely dangerous it leaves everyone agape."
And I would agree.
Some days all you need is a little love from above– a reminder that we’re all in this thankless imbroglio called life together. Some days all you need, more than love itself, is real agape: a nurturing and selfless assurance that we are wanted in this world and needed, and that people do value our existence at least a little bit.
And some days all you need is to see AGAPE get a ticket.
I hate asshole drivers, too. I am so shocked and saddened by the number of people who think a turn signal means to either speed up, or cut someone off from behind. Everyone is so selfish these days it’s not even funny.
Maybe her license plate was supposed to say AGAVE and she was actually wasted on tequila. But seriously I think drivers in the area should have to take a test every year they are so bad.