A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

The Skoal’d And The Geekiful

I was checking in on E:)’s blog earlier today, and I can’t believe I’d ever missed the NASCAR romance challenge.  I blanched; I was aghast.  I buckled down and went to town with my own and here is what I came up with.  This is an excerpt of my very own NASCAR novel, Love Hit Me Faster Than #43

Brandy Jane’s pulse quickened. 

She suddenly realized that all those silly coincidences, like their irrational fanaticism when it came to spearmint-flavored Skoal; the way they both stocked up on toothpicks and let them dangle at a roguish angle even after eating no more than a couple of Pop-Tarts; the fact that when someone at the honky-tonk had said that it was plumb stupid that NASCAR even allowed Cheerios and Betty Crocker to sponsor a car in the circuit, let alone change the driver they both thought he was rude and ignorant; and that while she and Randy Joe took turns punching that patron silly out behind the bar for saying that Bobby Labonte was somehow a sissy for driving a car that "belonged with mamas, queers and babies" they had both felt a connection and an ease that seldom came during those unfortunate moments when someone who hasn’t seen the light of God needs to be straightened out, all that could only mean one thing:

Randy Joe was probably a cousin.
But, aw H-E-double hockey sticks, she loved that man more than life itself– more than NASCAR itself.  At that moment, Brandy Jane knew that nothing would make her a happier, more fulfilled woman than moving in with Randy Joe at the Shangri-La Mobile Estates and be his babymama.  She only hoped that she wasn’t too late bringing over the case of Bud.

Of course, after having written down this excerpt, I feel I should confess something:

I watch NASCAR races.

Not all the time, and not all the way, but I do watch.  And you know what?  It’s fun.

And you know what else?  My favorite car is the Cheerios car, but my allegiance is with this year’s awesome rookie, Juan Pablo Montoya, because he is representin’ for my peeps yo!!


If you’ve been watching Idol, you know of the evil juggernaut that is Sanjaya, right?

All I will say is this:

Does this face ring a bell?  No?  Okay, how about this one?

Hmmm…. still losing you?  Let me try one last one:

AAACK!  Gosh, I’m sorry.  I really should have warned you about that last one.

My point?
Whenever there is a horny cross-section of people involved –and more often than not, teenage girls tend to be the domineering cross-section, as per my sample– irrational things happen.  But also, more often than not, life finds a way to reach homeostasis all on its own.
Sanjaya, my friends, may go to the top three– or he may even take all.  But I do believe that more times than not, the worthy and the willing will make the best of their Idol run and we will hear from them for years to come.
And when that happens, they had better be damn grateful for the oppontunity, Jennifer Hudson.

Kay, all y’allz.  Hasta!

This entry was published on March 29, 2007 at 1:51 pm and is filed under Pop Culture. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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