A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

The Post Wherein The Nefarious Plan Is Revealed

By now, if you’ve been reading this, you know I’m pregnant.

And by now, you’ve figured out that perhaps that also means I’m a woman (hey, you never know).

And it’s a truth universally acknowledged that a married woman in possession of a swelling uterus must be in want of much gear (And secretly wishes the baby is born on December 16th, because Jane Austen is awesome).

So I shall out with it: I am slowly creating an Amazon Wishlist. And I’m overwhelmed and excited about all the possible gear that my child will not remember and I will be unsuccessful at properly lugging around without ending up looking like The Nazarene.

But of course, there are the rookie pitfalls:

To Peg Perego, or not to Peg Perego? Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to be a snob and suffer the slings and arrows of a very heavy car seat yet knowing that it is much safer and chic-er, or to take arms against the encroaching European snootiness and by opposing, end up buying a Graco? To Britax; to Britax or perhaps to Peg. Perhaps to dream that you can just get by with a convertible seat and no more. Aye, there’s the rub and the $200.

I shall dispense with clever paraphrasings of literary works for the rest of this entry. Just know that it sucks to be in a consumerist society where you get bombarded by more choices than you can test drive in one afternoon. And of course, you cannot fill said choices with baby. And the advice of carrying around a 10 lb. sack of sugar, while pragmatic, is simply bizarre.

Here is a quiz, since I haven’t posted one in a while. Enjoy:

Your brain: 60% interpersonal, 60% visual, 140% verbal, and 140% mathematical!
Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

  1. Don’t date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
  2. Don’t be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
  3. Don’t have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 71% on interpersonal
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You scored higher than 63% on visual
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You scored higher than 94% on verbal
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You scored higher than 81% on mathematical

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid Free Online Dating
This entry was published on April 25, 2005 at 9:47 pm and is filed under The X-pectant Files. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “The Post Wherein The Nefarious Plan Is Revealed

  1. Maybe, just maybe, if the baby is born on the 18th you will name him or her Natalie.

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