The last time I wrote on here, I was wrapped in righteous anger because my Instagram account had been suspended.

Guess the fuck what?

That would not be the last time it would happen. In October of 2025, my account was suspended again. The Meta guy who helped me the first time around was a lot more cagey about helping me the second time around but another guy stepped in to my rescue. As it turns out, my account just fell victim to a very silly “We actually wanted you to establish a Teen account with your Teen” loop of weirdness. So, instead of sending A Strongly Worded Email, Meta decided that I was a child groomer.

The second time around, my account was suspended because I sent my SEVENTEEN year old a reel of Gritty doing a mashup 6-7 x Seven Ate Nine joke. You can watch it here and ask yourself exactly what is so outrageous about that reel that’s had over 30,000 likes.

Anyway. During my two Instagram hiatuses, I started exploring other content and other platforms, like Reddit. Reddit kept me sane and connected at a time when I felt like a pariah, and it helped me find community when I felt alone in an oddly spiritual way.

See, I have complicated relationships with social media. Facebook is ew, but Instagram never was. I loved Instagram –and now can say that, despite everything, I still do. So to be shunned and not the shunner left me reeling in a way I did not anticipate. Plus, being the shunned for crimes I did not commit felt wrong and awful.

Anyway. Nails. I fell in love with nail-related content. It makes me happy to see all the pretty colors and it soothes me to see random strangers applying nail polish to their nails. I have been writing over on a forgotten Tumblr account about nails for a couple of days. It’s called Meownicures. I will probably grow bored of it for a couple of reasons: 1. I crave adulation and reactions; 2. I am not ready for either for this venture. I dwell within a strange contradiction, where I want to be looked at and read and praised but I actually DO NOT want to be looked at unless it’s perfect, which it will never be unless I put out the less-than-perfect efforts.

Funny enough, all things are alike. We all want the glory of a well-earned compliment, but we bristle at the mistakes and we bristle even more because suddenly we become aware of the crooked finger, the flooded bit of cuticle, the weird and repetitive sentence. DO NOT LOOK AT IT.

But please look at it? If you’re on Tumblr, say hi? Please? Aaaahgaaaahggggggsdfksfk.