Visualization


Spinny, originally uploaded by Madame Meow.

In the middle of winter, with all these piles of snow all around still stubbornly refusing to melt, it's hard to think that there will ever be (or have ever been, and will, in fact, continue to be) hot mid-July days where you can wear little clothing and inwardly beg for even less clothing to be heaped upon yourself.

When your family is broken up, it's hard to think that there will ever be a day when the present bitterness will ever be thought of as past, and maybe even remembered fondly– with a certain astringent taste, but sweet nonetheless.

I don't talk very much about our family specifics on here, but suffice it to say that my husband is in the Armed Forces and will be going away to One Of The Dangerous Places very soon. Which actually means that he's been coming and going for about a year, and our family routine has been not as routine as it would normally be. But sometimes a little disclosure does the body and soul good. I am cranky and I am afraid, and a small part of me admits that I'll be relieved when he's finally gone, so life without him can start for a little while and regain some monotony, if not some normalcy altogether.

I just wish that I could focus on a concrete flash-forward –a mid-summer balm for the mid-winter soul– instead of floating in the space above, waiting and not being sure at all.

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This entry was published on February 21, 2010 at 10:01 pm and is filed under Domestic Bliss. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

4 thoughts on “Visualization

  1. 😦 I can send you some tea?

  2. This must be so hard, and I totally understand your “will it start already” perspective. Let’s hope we get some more spring balm like yesterday…it makes most everything seem a little more possible. LOVE that photo!

  3. I heard a radio story a while back that featured interviews with military spouses. One of the surprising things was a discussion with one woman that said that she and her husband fought every time he was about to leave. That it was SO stressful, it was, in a way, easier to create the break than just succumb to it.
    It can’t be easy. I send thanks to your husband for his service, hugs to you, and positive energy that he’ll be home for good soon–safe and sound.

  4. I also love the photo. And I also send you hugs & positive energy. And general good vibes toward the scary places. 😦 Hang in there! xo j.

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