So when I was first recovering –you know, post-possible H1N1 and all– and I read the description for The Tower, I was a little uneasy.
There is one card that is just no good: it is an allegory to the Tower of Babel, with naked people falling off a tall tower that's in flames because it got struck by lightning.
I mean, is there any way that this card could possibly be worse? Of course, it symbolizes hard times and a total overhaul. In the same vein, things cannot possibly get worse, so surely they will eventually be on the up and up.
And then I started thinking that, in a weird way, we were stuck in the Tower when we were all sick. Literally, we were trapped in the top floor of the house, isolated from everyone and doing little more than coughing, wheezing, hacking, throwing up, going to the bathroom, eating little and feeling sorry for ourselves.
And when we thought we were on the mend, another one of us would get sick again.
So I have to start this post anew because this tower thing TOTALLY applies to Tiger Woods!
Because, see, when you've successfully separated yourself from anything that keeps you grounded and live up in a tower of your own making, you've lost your compass. And when you've lost that perspective, all you have ahead of you is a long, hard, deadly fall.
And if your wife snaps; gets your clubs out; beats the shit out of you; makes you lose your cool; and the media welcomes heartily the (thong) throng of nasty skanks eager to talk about how you like to be doped up when you're playing Hide The Seven-Iron-In-The-Nineteeth-Hole; then you're pretty much the embodiment of The Tower.
Dear Tiger: Next time, keep the freaky ladies off your sand wedge, and keep yourself grounded.