A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Eat your heart out, Edward Cullen

Eat your heart out, Edward Cullen, originally uploaded by Madame Meow.

So by now I assume that most of my readership has at least picked up one of the volumes from the vampire oeuvre by that mensch of kitsch, Stephenie Meyer: the Twilight Saga.

(Aside: Her name bothers me. Why must she spell "Stephanie" with an E?)

And yes, I have swooned over Edward and have tried to put out of my mind the whole freaky obsessive, stalkeresque, folie à deux quality of their love and have just enjoyed the swoon for what it is.

But I refuse to suspend my disbelief for a Volvo S60. I mean, a VOLVO?! The car of choice of hippies, broke college students, and eternal adolescents the world over is the car that the man of girly womanhood's collective dreams drives?

How is that possible?

I mean, with the possible exception of The Saint's Volvo P1800 –the very Volvo portrayed here, which we Meows got to see in person at Barracks Row's Oktoberfest today– and perhaps the little Volvo that was actually picked out for the Twilight movie (thank goodness for consultants), I cannot think of a more soporific car for anyone to drive.

Seriously. Volvos are dependable and supposedly great in a crash, but I just don't get all starry-eyed thinking about them. I tend to associate Sweden with unfailingly polite people, meatballs, and an evil den of terribly chic and affordable home furnishings; and not associate them with sexy and precise automotive engineering.

Funny thing is, I've just been to Stephenie (grr) Meyer's website,  where she discusses her car choices for her characters. Amazingly enough, she discloses that she cut the Aston Martin Vanquish that Edward drove as his "special occasion" car from Twilight.

Aston. Martin.

One could make the argument that perhaps a Volvo is the right choice for understated Edward, who just wants to blend in.

Alas, how can he blend in if he's gorgeous and sparkly and surrounded by his weird family, AND if his family drives BMWs and Mercedes-Benzes?

So now you know: it's not the part about the vampires and the werewolves roaming the earth and being deadly enemies that makes my suspension of disbelief go AWOL: it's the Volvo.

This entry was published on September 26, 2009 at 8:38 pm. It’s filed under DC Dukkha, Photoblogging, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Eat your heart out, Edward Cullen

  1. This is cracking me up. A lot. But you know, it’s true. Volvo does seem like a random choice. I’m still in disbelief I got sucked into the darn series at all!!!!

  2. Brilliant post as always… I always look at Volvo drivers a bit wary – something about those cars makes me not trust anyone who would buy one… maybe a bad experience in a past life??

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