A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

It’s Going to Take More than Three Bowls of Oatmeal, For Sure.

Sometimes I wonder about fairy tales and what they truly mean– specifically what it all means when you can relate to one Disney princess over the other, or why some tales seem to make more sense while others are just kind of freakish and weird and just kind of pointless.

For instance, take one of my favorite stories, "Goldilocks and the Three Bears."  While it is doubtless true that Goldilocks is a rude, mooching, completely entitled little whore who is hell-bent on squatting in and subsequently destroying the bears' happy home, there is definitely a part of me that can identify with the little monster.  Specifically, the reason Goldilocks turns to breaking and entering and destruction of property is because she seeks very specific things: in some ways we all have an inner Goldilocks who is a sensuous yet frustrated gourmande who is forever looking to satisfy her needs no matter what path those needs may take her through.

So lately, I've been a bit of a Goldilocks although I really hope I don't need to go down a spiral of criminal activity to get what I want, which is a birth with minimal intervention, a tub, and some privacy– and no epidural, which some people think is a funny thing to actively seek.  And let me tell you, I realize that if I wanted to give birth in the perfect (for me) place, I should have probably planned this whole caper sooner than waiting until finding myself thirty-four weeks pregnant and unsure of exactly how I want to pop this baby out– at a hospital, at home or at a birth center.  What I am definitely sure of is that I do not want a cesarean section or to talk to one more insurance person (but really, I will definitely take the latter over the former any day), but other than that it just seems that my options at this point have not arrived at that golden point of "just right" wherein I curl up in baby bear's bed and fall asleep dreamlessly– hopefully bypassing the part where I'm awakened by an angry family of bears and resort to jumping out the window and living as a fugitive.

But so yes.  There you have it people: plan ahead, plan accordingly, but remember to keep your options open, should your only avenue to getting what you want is a lifetime of petty crime.

This entry was published on January 5, 2009 at 8:43 pm and is filed under The X-pectant Files. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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