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So have you gotten over your Duggar-induced shock from the last post?
Holy crap, huh? I don’t even know what to think. Someone who found my last post involving the Duggars from August of 2007 –when #17 was born– took the time to leave a very detailed and hurt-filled comment regarding growing up in a large family and how she felt it shortchanged the children. Being an only child –albeit one with a weird extended-family thing– I can’t say I have much of an experience with having to compete for attention, but I sincerely do wonder just how the real Duggars interact and cope with their sheer familial size.
By far, though, the blogosphere seems most abuzz with Michelle Duggar’s possibly cavernous vagina– which, well… that’s the blogosphere for you, right? But still… ow.
I honestly don’t think that I can seriously sit down and write about this more. I’ve been busy informing the world of this development and gauging reactions. Most people don’t have a bell ringing when I mention the name Duggar, but when I relate the number of kids everyone seems to have an opinion.
And ironically, the more I think about it, the less clear my opinion becomes– despite having written this entry on the Quiverfull movement not too long ago.
(Yes that’s right MSNBC— it’s (unfortunately) Quiverfull with two Ls. Get it right)
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What is so wrong? What is so right?
And, if the Duggars choose to make America a part of it all by sharing their (happy?) news on national television, does that give us all the collective right to judge and maybe to condemn them?
There are no answers, really. But maybe the questions being asked aren’t the right ones, either.
A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm! 
I come from a family of 5 kids. There are 12 years between my oldest sister and myself (yes, I’m the baby). My oldest sister helped take care of our brother (1 and a half years older than me) and myself because she was old enough to take on that responsibility. My mother was big on teaching us all how to be responsible. That wasn’t cruel and unusual punishment for my sister. Even the youngest of my sisters (she’s 7 years older than me) helped to look out for our brother and me as we grew up. Being the youngest, I felt left out of that experience until my nephew was born (I’m 7 years older than him) and I got the chance to be responsible for him when he was around.
One of my uncles has 18 kids, 6 by his first wife and 12 by his second. There’s a total of 22 years difference between the oldest and youngest. All of the kids looked out for one another and many of the middle kids (which were around my age or within 5 years of it) liked having so many others around to “lose” the guilt of misbehaving in them. Not that they managed to avoid being caught. Despite the numbers, my aunt and uncle knew each of the kids very well and could narrow it down to between 1 and 3 kids being guilty of anything. They were fair with the kids and expected them to be responsible according to their age categories.
I find most families that have middle kids who feel left out or ignored often have parents who consider the middle children to be the easiest to handle because they don’t demand a lot of time or make waves. The parents don’t seem to realize that these kids are withdrawn and quiet because of self-esteem issues. Families where the parents try to keep every one involved often produce kids who are fairly well-balanced and enjoyed being part of a large family.
I feel sorry for the person who left such a hurt-filled comment because it makes her sound like she was part of a family who didn’t realize she had low self-esteem. I might be wrong about that because it’s hard to tell from just a few sentences why people feel the way they do.
As for the Duggars, I don’t really care how many kids she has as long as they can afford to take care of them and the kids are happy. Which it sounds like they are. Personally speaking, I think it’s part of being a big brother or big sister to help take care of your siblings. Although naming all the kids with J would have driven me bonkers. I think each child should have an original (to the family) first name. But that’s my opinion.
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