A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!


I recently have discovered something kind of silly.

I should not wear my iPod while I’m out in public.  Not ever.  I should buy a base for it or play it in my car and never make the mistake of inserting those delightfully tiny earbud  earphones and attempting to look in any way as cool as the random dancing shadows in iPod commercials.



The other day, a friend of mine watched Herr Meow while I dashed to the neighborhood store with the impossibly narrow aisles that make most navigation within the store a delicate dance of wills and concentration, and which would probably be more successful if patrons carrying large purses or weighing over 105 lbs were issued a radar system and a medal of St. Brendan the Voyager.

So as I march down the seven or eight blocks to the store, I unfurl the iAccoutrements and plug in to enjoy a few minutes of rest from my completely focused and hypervigilant mother brain.  Hey, mothers out there: does your brain ever get tired of always having to be ON when you go out with your kids?

And well, some good and some cheesy and some unmentionably bad music comes blaring out into my ears and creates a wall of sound that cuts off most aural input while dulling all other senses and making it feel within my head as if there is nothing. but. song.

And then it starts– the transformation.  The juggernaut.  The iJuggernaut.


At first it’s subtle.  A finger-snap here.  A head-shake there.  Keeping pace with the music.  A subtle shimmy.

Then it becomes a little bit of throaty, quiet humming.

Suddenly I find myself unwittingly skipping, mouthing, almost singing aloud, Nay, I find myself almost belting it.  I smile my cowpie-smorgasbord smile and get into song after song.

And then reality hits as I brazenly walk into a store while an old Roxette song is drowning out everything else:  I must look pretty ridiculous trying to suppress the Broadway antics.


So as I see people wearing their headphones and marching expressionlessly day in and day out in the Metro and around the town, I have to wonder if they’ve had to come to terms with their struggle to keep the inner Kevin-Kline-in-"In-And-Out" in check and under wraps with every song that streams through their iPods.

Or maybe they just pick the boring songs for their commute?

This entry was published on January 9, 2008 at 9:26 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

9 thoughts on “iDork

  1. I, too, have caught myself out singing aloud on the iThing at the supermarket… Buyer beware!

  2. Don’t worry, it’s not just you. I’m glad it’s not just me!

  3. Aw heck, embrace your iJuggernaut and just keep dancing! 🙂

  4. Yes. That would also be me, in my living room yesterday, dancing like a crazy woman to a Ron Sexsmith song . . . it felt good! I have yet to listen to my brand new ipod in public, but I’m not sure I could keep my inner dork down.
    Or maybe all those expressionless folks are just listening to a podcast about the elections?

  5. I have a new work PC, and I can now access your blog on the job without crashes! w00t! (OK, it’s not “new”, it’s “new-to-me.” It’s a big upgrade to … a PIII. You really don’t want to know what I was using before. What a cheap company I work for.)
    Dance on, babe, dance on. I have been known to mouth tunes while waiting for trains myself. And, what’s this about bad music on your iThingie? More Britney? I have Howard Jones on mine. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.

  6. I haven’t ever owned an iPod, and this is probably a good reason why…;)

  7. Ohh man I do that very self-same thing. Luckily, I mostly do it on the machines at the gym, But it’s impossible to behave when the Bodyrockers come on with Dirty, so I don’t even try. You should see me walking home from Union Station when that one comes on.

  8. Aw to heck with it – dance away!
    I always wonder about those folks who sit nearly motionless, and totally expressionless while plugged in. Are they listening to truly boring music? Or are they just completely devoid of rhythm and soul?

  9. i alternate between expressionless marcher and foot tapper/head bopper while walking around with my iPod. honestly, it depends on whether i’m actually paying attention to the songs. sometimes i get so wrapped up in my thoughts that i totally forget there’s music playing in my ears.
    however, when i’m free to think about nothing but the music that’s playing, i’ve been known to let the foot tap and the head bop. sometimes i just can’t help myself.

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