Ok, so I was all set to write about the word "douche" today.
No, really. I totally was. I did research and was going to share about how funny I find the word and what a specific yet asoundingly subtle an insult it is. It is an insult that relies heavily on what it is not –namely, a vaginal –or anal– irrigator, where its thankless and unneeded job is to just be an in-and-out cleanser and nothing more.
But as it happens, I couldn’t get a particular earworm out of my head. So, always willing to share in those little painful morsels of life, you get a blog entry on the Easterns motors commercial series.
I’m sure you do not give three-quarters of a rat’s ass as to what Easterns motors is.
It’s okay. Neither did I. As a matter of fact, for a long time since I moved to this area, I didn’t really care to give much thought to the matter myself. All that was needed to know was the following:
1. They are a car dealership.
2. We have a car.
That was it. See how simply some things can disappear from your mind?
I should have made a mental note of item number three, so I could remember it later and weep:
3. Whoever owns Easterns is a huge Washington Redskins fan, with friends in high places.
This is a more notable development, you see. It leads directly to point four:
4. It’s football season.
I’m a fairweather football fan.
I love a team if they are winning (are you listening, 49ers?); but more importantly I love a team if they are winners. The New England Patriots, sadly, are the exception that confirms this rule. Tom Brady is an all-around hottie, alright, but he has hidden douchebag potential (which surprisingly makes him the actual inspiration for today’s entry). Or maybe I just have something against men who leave their pregnant girlfriends for Brazilian supermodels.
Anyway, last night while watching the Colts-Patriots game and debating the potential hotness of Tom Brady versus Peyton Manning –who I insist is actually hotter in the overall analysis despite looking a little dopey and having the squashy nose, if anything because he is one of those ugly guys who are kind of ugly-hot in my book– with Monsieur Meow, who was politely following along while rolling his eyes; but who in one of those amazing testosterone-enhanced attributes that men have did not miss one single call throughout the game, they came on.
Those silly Easterns commercials.
With that deliciously catchy singysonginess that has come back to haunt me out of nowhere. And suddenly I am awash with incomplete memories of watching bits and pieces of football games while having the training camp series pop up and leaving me charmingly befuddled.
Favorite training camp day? Has to be number three:
Sample thought: "What the… heh. Heh. Heh."
So without further ado, here is a present for you. It’s the original Easterns jingle, so you always remember that if you need a car in the DC Metro area and you have a job, at Easterns Motors your job IS your credit.
Aren’t you glad you now know?