A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Duck-Billed Platitudes

Sometimes you’re the hydrant.  Sometimes you’re the dog.


Next time you see the mother whose child is up to no good; getting into mischief; into actual mischief; or past the point of mischief and bawling his little butt off, just remember this: it’s always tempting to pass judgment and roll your eyes– believe me, I know.  Passing judgment to me has always been like a tray of chocolates to other people.  But just beware: one day you may be in a similar situation and you will appreciate a little compassion coming your way.


If you’re a mother, I could bet money that you’ve discussed your vaginal walls with a total stranger at least once (doctors count, you know).  You shouldn’t be embarrassed of that fact; as you shouldn’t be embarrassed of having ever talked poop with other people.  They may not be glamorous facts of life, but they are facts of life and they are kind of morbidly fun to talk about.


Sometimes, the people you meet might have a very large, very stiff stick up their rectums.  No amount of smiling will unlodge the stick.  Give it up– someone with enough lube and patience might eventually show up.


Some people lack a sense of humor.
Nothing that you can do, say, or hint will change this fact.  What’s more, if you’re dealing with someone who is exceedingly humorless, you will find that their sourpuss attitude will seep into your skin like a nicotine brown stain.  Try to back away before your fingers start turning yellow (unless you’re humorless, that is– in that case, go be important and serious).


Everyone has their own sorrows.
As much as we all (or some of us would like to) believe that we know what it’s like to… whatever, we can’t know what angst, sadness, sorrow or sheer bitchiness of spirit a person harbors.  Make an attempt to remember this the next time someone cuts you off on the road or doesn’t return your smile.


I know; these are all nothing but platitudes.  But you would be surprised at how often life could be so much easier if you could remember these easily-forgettable but ultimately crucial points.

This entry was published on October 15, 2007 at 2:09 pm and is filed under Laundry List. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

6 thoughts on “Duck-Billed Platitudes

  1. I will try to remember these pearls of wisdom daily!
    Jane, Pinks & Blues

  2. I will try to remember these pearls of wisdom daily!
    Jane, Pinks & Blues

  3. Ooh, I’m SO guilty of eye-rolling. Even when I know I shouldn’t.

  4. Since this blog entry had “poop” in it, I thought i would drop a line, and say thank you for visiting my blog….
    and I hope it worked!!

  5. great post! you know, if everyone thought about other people and what they’re going through and how it has affected his/her day, i think the whole world would be a lot nicer.

  6. *grins* Been there, done that, designed the t-shirt 😛
    When someone starts to tick me off I think to myself “Is this really important enough to waste my valuable time and energy on being upset? Will this matter to me in twenty years?” Since the answer is usually “No” I turn my irritation/budding anger into humour. It also has the side benefit of ticking the other person off when I react with amusement rather than anger. *grins impishly*
    I try to treat everyone as I would like to be treated. This occasionally confuses people.
    Since I’ve survived parenthood I never roll my eyes at young parents. When I see mothers struggling with young children, I am generally sympathetic and reassure them that the children do eventually grow out of that behaviour. Depending on how frazzled the mother is I might sometimes comment (with visible amusement) that I’m not sure exactly when that is. This often leads to a mother-to-mother discussion comparing our kids.
    I admit I do pass judgment in the quiet of my mind on parents who aren’t even trying to control their kids’ behaviour in public. There are ways to let children know their behaviour is not acceptable without spanking or screaming at them.

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