Sometimes you’re the hydrant.  Sometimes you’re the dog.

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Next time you see the mother whose child is up to no good; getting into mischief; into actual mischief; or past the point of mischief and bawling his little butt off, just remember this: it’s always tempting to pass judgment and roll your eyes– believe me, I know.  Passing judgment to me has always been like a tray of chocolates to other people.  But just beware: one day you may be in a similar situation and you will appreciate a little compassion coming your way.

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If you’re a mother, I could bet money that you’ve discussed your vaginal walls with a total stranger at least once (doctors count, you know).  You shouldn’t be embarrassed of that fact; as you shouldn’t be embarrassed of having ever talked poop with other people.  They may not be glamorous facts of life, but they are facts of life and they are kind of morbidly fun to talk about.

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Sometimes, the people you meet might have a very large, very stiff stick up their rectums.  No amount of smiling will unlodge the stick.  Give it up– someone with enough lube and patience might eventually show up.

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Some people lack a sense of humor.
Nothing that you can do, say, or hint will change this fact.  What’s more, if you’re dealing with someone who is exceedingly humorless, you will find that their sourpuss attitude will seep into your skin like a nicotine brown stain.  Try to back away before your fingers start turning yellow (unless you’re humorless, that is– in that case, go be important and serious).

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Everyone has their own sorrows.
As much as we all (or some of us would like to) believe that we know what it’s like to… whatever, we can’t know what angst, sadness, sorrow or sheer bitchiness of spirit a person harbors.  Make an attempt to remember this the next time someone cuts you off on the road or doesn’t return your smile.

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I know; these are all nothing but platitudes.  But you would be surprised at how often life could be so much easier if you could remember these easily-forgettable but ultimately crucial points.