A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Lesson: Don’t Ever Ask “What’s On Your Mind?”

Several things:

1. Acrylic nails are gross. 

If you can’t grow your own, can’t you embrace short nails? 
I realize that there is something fun and girly about having long nails with elaborate designs and outlandish colors.  There is actually a time and a place for fun, well-done fake nails: usually it’s known as Halloween.  But utter cheekiness aside, if you must sport long nails for a wedding or a black-tie occasion I think it’s okay to go for a set of acrylics.  And, certainly, if you take good care of them and get them filled regularly and you never have to scratch your face or your nose; handle raw meat; do any gardening whatsoever; deal with hygienic-related business that might be extra dirty and perilous (think about it) with fake talons; or hang around children, your acrylic nails will probably stay infection- and grossness-free.  But really, why do it? 

2. How can you ever confuse "your" and "you’re" when writing?

I mean, they don’t even sound the same: go ahead, pronounce them carefully and realize that "your" has a longer "o" sound, while the  "you’re" sound is slightly shorter and higher.  Which really just confirms that –barring true neurological reasons such as dyslexia— most bad spellers just cannot be bothered to do a little extra leg (or sound) work.  Incidentally, I was reading this piece in today’s Post about how some teachers think there is NO benefit to the spelling Bee.  Some, not all, apparently, think that it’s humiliating for some kids.  And some, but not all, think that it’s not a very good teaching tool. 

So, correct me if indeed I am mistaken, but I thought that for the main part spelling bees were comepetitions, and not a regular and daily part of the curriculum?  I guess the true highlight of the article is not so much that bees are bad teaching tools or engender bad teaching habits, but that it is a sad fact that many teachers do not know how to teach using bees and spelling as a tool –and therefore foster a true love for language to their students– BECAUSE THE DUMBASSES DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL (probably because their own teachers were deficient in that area).  I remember IMing once with a teacher friend of mine who confused her "your" with her "you’re" more than once.  This was very, very shocking to me– to think that someone who actively taught other people was walking about making such a big, crass mistake in everyday communications

Oh, okay.  Get it off your chest.  Tell me I’m a nerd, and I will tell you: I am not just a nerd, but a total language snob (who’d better proof the crap out of this entry before anyone points out that I’ve made a major AND stupid mistake and my reputation is shot before it’s established).

3. Whoa.  Kelly Clarkson!  Damn, girl!  No wonder you’ve been hiding under mu’u mu’us!  Girlfriend is back to meat on her bones, and with a vengeance!

I’m not going to criticize Kelly for going back to her curvier self, but I do think it’s a little bit sad that she even had to ditch it in the first place.  No one is telling Ruben Studdard to lose weight, but everyone is on Kelly’s case for her yo-yo weight.  Double standards make me want to spit fire.

3. Promos for daytime soaps make me laugh. 

I know I’m no one to talk because I have had a serious telenovela addiction that was hard to beat in the past, but I can still laugh at the soap ads because they are sooooooooo corny and I don’t watch those shows.  Although now that I’m typing this, I’m getting a really serious itching to linger around for just one episode of "Days of Our Lives."  Just one…  NO!  You said you’d garden!  But it’s just a small episode…. please?  It’s Monday!  They won’t drop any bombs today, they do that on Fridays!  NO!  GARDENING!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


4. I seriously need to do something about my Martha Stewart fixation.

Although, I’m so totally in looooove with the magazine….  *swoon*  Plus, during her show today, I found out that tomorrow, May 15th, is NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CHIP DAY!!!!!!!!!!  I need to bake cookies and I need chocolate.  Hmm.  I’m hungry.  Enough for now. 

Oh yes!  Ear-tug for a special lady having a special day today! (you know who you are!)

Have a good week, everyones!

This entry was published on May 14, 2007 at 12:02 pm and is filed under Laundry List, Schoolmarmish. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

5 thoughts on “Lesson: Don’t Ever Ask “What’s On Your Mind?”

  1. threeboysindc on said:

    “comepetitions” huh? Very funny.

    Oh well. A typo that good has to be left up, huh?

  3. mr. me on said:

    oh man. only you can gripe about proper use of diacritics and not sound curmudgeonly. wait, scratch that: no one can. 🙂
    omg. there’s a chocolate chip day. this changes everything.

  4. o.o
    That is truly quite the typo.
    I believe I’ll save the gleeful howl for when I get home, my co-workers already think I’m strange enough.
    Tell me I’m a nerd, and I will tell you: I am not just a nerd, but a total language snob
    Be still, my heart. ^.^

  5. Vixen on said:

    *chuckles* I absolute hate it when someone posts something without at least using the spellchecker. There are so many available that even people who don’t have the feature with their bloqs can still access one. My greatest peeve when it comes to spelling, though, is leet speak. That stuff makes me see red.
    I grew up with the perception that a well-written sentence showed intelligence, education, thought, and displayed a desire to be seen as well-educated and cultured. I tend to use larger words because I have the vocabulary and find that many simple words don’t express my thoughts adequately. However a simple sentence that is correct in its’ spelling and punctuation shows far more intelligence and education than any sentence composed of leet speak or tons of spelling mistakes.
    Language snobs of the world UNITE!!
    BTW is it really chocolate chip day tomorrow? Mmmmmmm, must have chocolate chip cookies!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: