A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

It’s officially mosquito season.

The first actual bite in the Meow household was sighted around 0810 on 04 May 2007, on subject Rev. Mom.
Subject received appropriate dose of Neosporin on site of wound. 
She claimed to have detected the enemy’s presence the night before, possibly between 2130 and 2200.   
Subject reported unsuccessful killing attempt on enemy.


I am a woman obsessed, as usual.  Remember that one post about being paint-obsessed?

Yeah.  This is worse.  Mosquitoes love me, you see.  They love to feast and dine on my blood, and they seek me out with a viciousness usually reserved only for Ben & Jerry pints.

Therefore, I have been dreading mosquito season for weeks.  Every time the nice weather rolls around, I utter the same thing– something to the effect of, "As soon as it rains, it’ll be mosquito season again."

I have been talking to the neighbors about the horrors of mosquito season.  I have been handsomely regaled in return with horror stories of  limbs mauled by insect malfeasance — red welts that swell and become puffy and itchy within minutes and can sometimes even become infected.  Millions of tiny bites, or a few large ones.  Itchiness, discomfort and sorrow for months to come, with the possible evil looming of West Nile Virus or even Malaria.  Yup.  Malaria: although it’s not nearly as common or as deadly as it is in Africa or in South America, Malaria still manages to kill over 1000 people every year in the United States, according to the CDC.  Scary huh? 

If you’re with me in your mosquito wars, here are a few things to know:

* Mosquitoes like romantic sunsets: this is the time where they bite the most. 

* Only girl-mosquitoes are the evil blood mercenaries.  Still– destroy them all, especially the eggs. 

* ANY standing water will allow a girl mosquito to lay her eggs, so don’t leave any birdbaths or other "cute" things with stagnant water.

* Mosquitoes are attracted by your production of carbon dioxide.  In case you’re incapable of holding your breath the whole time you’re outside, click here and here and here for some helpful tips. 

Remember: mosquitoes are NOT your friends and they DO NOT do anything other than being vectors for disease.  The only good mosquito is a DEAD mosquito.

This entry was published on May 4, 2007 at 1:21 pm and is filed under Domestic Bliss, Schoolmarmish. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

  1. One of the best features of menopause is that the mosquitoes are no longer interested in me. I’ll get a bite or two during the worst of the season, after July 4 and before Halloween, but I don’t have to worry much about them anymore.
    Kill. Them. All.

  2. I’d like to say you’re mean, but it’s true, they must die.
    Meanwhile, I tell the kids that the mosquitoes feed the lizards and frogs, and the larger birds eat them. They also feed bats, which are night time pollinators. Circle of life, food web stuff.
    It’s all cold comfort on a hot night with, “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” in your ear and no beast once the light is on.
    Interesting about menopause.

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