A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Ask Dear Mme. Meow

I know this is a favorite topic amongst blog writers: the pondering of just how many strange searches actually leads to your blog.  But truly, it’s an endless source of… wonder.

So I shall keep it brief for now and share what sounds like an advice column gone wrong:

How to fix overplucked eyebrows?
Well, you might want to let them grow first, you know?  But in the meantime, I recommend an eyebrow pencil, a mascara wand (to brush over the eyebrow pencil strokes and make it look like  "hair", so to speak) and a definite moratorium on the tweezers.  Also, don’t let just anyone pluck your eyebrows, for Chrissakes! 

feeding birds rice
Don’t.  Rice is incompatible with birds’ stomachs and can hurt them. 

dose men know what is love
Maybe they do know, but they don’t know how to spell it properly?

non blurry backgrounds for malteses
Your Maltese dog needs a background for his computer?  Wait.  I’m confused.

is it okay to feed my nine month old ice cream

Generally, no.  Most pediatricians will tell you to wait until the baby is a year old at least to introduce products with milk in them.  The exceptions are yogurt and cheese because they contain active bacterial cultures and are easier to digest.  Then again, this bit of knowledge hasn’t ever stopped anyone from feeding ice cream or TWIZZLERS to infants.  Twizzlers, people:  did you know that Twizzlers are pretty much sugar and CORN STARCH mixed together and sculpted into ropes?  NO WONDER some people’s kids (who eat Twizzlers every day) cannot poop.  But I digress.

is the watermelon good for baby going 6 months
I gotta say, "the watermelon" sounds like some sort of Medieval torture.  But as with the item above, people will do anything to their kids, including feeding them hot dogs at THREE  MONTHS OF AGE  and I am not lying, people.  Having said that, watermelon is not terribly hard to digest.  Still, I would not feed it to a six-month old.  Why don’t you start with bananas, apples and pears anyway?

what dose indulgences mean

I’d like to know, myself.  "Dose indulgences"?  Is that like some medicated prayer system or something?
Incidentally, if you click on the word, you will find the definition of "indulgence".  And may I suggest clicking on the first hit from Answers.com next time?

beaten bruised tits

Um.  Should this be an image search, maybe?  It sounds rather painful, at any rate.

Alrighty folks.  I have a teething monster who’s in dire need of the spotlight of my attention.  Adieux for now and have a happy Monday!

This entry was published on March 19, 2007 at 11:11 am and is filed under Schoolmarmish. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Ask Dear Mme. Meow

  1. These are searches that led to your blog?
    Very odd, LOL.

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