A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Randomata– The I-Want-To-Crack-The Sleigh-Ride-Whip Edition

Because it’s Monday morning!

Because Herr Meow’s teeth number six and seven are coming in like a Vin Diesel movie!

Because it’s supposed to be 69 degrees later today!

Because it’s officially a week before Christmas day!

It’s Christmas-Is-Almost-Here Randomata!!!!! Hark! The Herald Angels Probably Blog By Now, Huh?


How exactly does a conversation like this go anyway?

“Hi, is this the high-end designer kids’ store? I’d like some very cute and impratical jeans for my 4-month old, please.”
“Why of course! We have an $89 pair of Burberry mini jeans that might do the trick! They even have a tiny little zipper instead of elastic, just to make it that much harder on your nannies!”
“That sounds perfect. Please also make sure that they run small, so while they are labeled ‘3-6 months’ they can only be put on a small newborn, at best!”
“Please, ma’am: that goes without saying.
“Here’s my AmEx black! Just send the bill with my chauffeur!”

Seriously, though. Burberry jeans for a 4 month old? Why would you ever buy designer duds for a kid who’s most likely going to spit up, poop or just scoot those poor clothes into oblivion?

(Answer? Because you can. But that’s not the point.)


Acceptable tender: Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Cash, Check.
Unacceptable tender: One more St. Jude’s Children’s hospital commercial. I just can’t bear to think of sick babies: it scares me and it reminds me of how lucky I have been so far with my little Meowie. Would you like to help? Click here.


It says something that, not having purchased a Christmas tree in late November, when we went to check out the selection at many places the trees were looking sad, dejected and in dire need of water. That is, whatever was left was looking that way; we had an especially comical moment while visiting the Home Depot, where all that was needed to drive the point home was a well-timed tumbleweed. Now, gorgeous trees can still be purchased over at Eastern Market, but for a hefty price tag increase.

A 5-footer costs $60 dollars. Tell me, people: as pretty as a real tree is, and as nice as it smells, can it really be justifiable to pay that much money for something that is, in essence, a dead piece of wood? A dead piece of wood which will be decorated into a fire hazard and then discarded sadly less than a month later?

I didn’t think so. Kindling does not cost that much, and that is pretty much what you get with a real Christmas tree.

So stay tuned for photos of how the Meows married their inner Scrooge to their inner Martha Stewart.

Why is it that people think that the word “introvert” is like an insult?

Where is it written that “extrovert” is unfailingly good and “introvert” equals “asshole” anyway?

Why can’t a person find it more relaxing to be by herself rather than having to hightail it to a party or have to make it a party everytime, huh? I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!


I first heard of Diesel Sweeties when I was getting into blogs. That makes it … wow… over two years ago.

Since I have this minorly obsessive personality, I remember sitting down over the course of several days and reading every single cartoon in order. I would think about the cast of characters during non-computered hours and wonder why Li’l Sis didn’t have a name (or rather, doesn’t still); why Maura had to pseudo-hook up with Electron Mike of all people (he doesn’t even drink beer!); why Pale Suzie ever hooked up with Indie Rock Pete –and why they are still friends. So many questions…. so few panels every day to get my fix.

Now, there was a Secret Satan going on over at DS from the 27th to last Friday the 15th. To be honest, I thought I’d be cool and join in at the last possible minute, just to prove that I HAVE known about Diesel Sweeties for a while and I DO support indie endeavors and I AM trying really hard to be cool.

But then I thought, What Would Indie Rock Pete Do?

And I think he would say something like, “Deadlines are for conformists (and conformists are not indie).”

So there.

This entry was published on December 18, 2006 at 10:19 am and is filed under Randomata. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Randomata– The I-Want-To-Crack-The Sleigh-Ride-Whip Edition

  1. Help the homeless buy a tree!
    Well that’s what the sign on Penn at 9th SE, says. Though with a well-placed comma, the message could be a little clearer: Help the homeless, buy a tree.
    Seriously. Cute trees, can’t beat the price. We’ve got a 7′ tree, gifted to us by the marvelous Kat, for $30… and they deliver. Worth checking out. And the guy will tell you if they’re going to deliver new stuff, and when.
    So don’t scrooge yourself out of a tree, lady. Ours doesn’t have any ornaments, but who cares? It’s a TREE!

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