A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

When The Going Gets Tough… Randomata

In no particular order, this is an early October edition of Randomata:


Today, a victory at the scale: one hundred and forty-five pounds!!

*dances with the lightness of favorite Fantasia dancers*

Now you skinny minnies may be smiling outwardly and nodding while deep inside murmuring to your thin selves, “Uh… should anyone, like, tell her that 145 lbs was, like, four OR MORE pounds than Bridget Jones’ highest weight in the book?”

I know it doesn’t sound awfully light, but it is the lightest I’ve been since having The Meow. It is also the fittest I’ve been –despite that flabby, chicken-neck-looking bit of skin that clings stubbornly to my abdomen but which DOES NOT look like this (or rather, not yet):

Yes, she’s very thin but…. oy.

Incidentally, hon, while I hope that Owen Wilson is truly your soulmate …… I kind of find that hard to believe. Not that Chris Robinson looked to me to be such a catch or anything (and he’s kinda too old for you).

Oh. And give Ryder a haircut.


Place names around here that when mispronounced make me giggle more than a 13-year old discovering “Beavis and Butthead”:

Manassas (As opposed to the woman kind…)
Hancock (I never claimed to be a sophisticate)
C&O (Like B&D, but civilized?)
Antietam (Try to linger over the “-tie”…. Civil War buffs are allowed to hate me now)
Dumfries (I want smart ones)
Boonsboro (Where they make the wine coolers!)
Funkstown (Won’t you take me toooooooo…)
Nutley Street (this one goes with Cheverley, Olney, Sudley Road, West Langley and Beverley Mill, among others– is this a fetish?)
Buckland (Funny if you replace your b’s with f’s)
Monocacy (As opposed to bicacy? polycacy?)


Herr Meow is starting to appreciate solids.

When I say “appreciate” I mean that he no longer is making a face like a Noh mask and is instead allowing us to feed him tiny, minuscule portions that wouldn’t even satisfy a hummingbird.

Although I must give the child kudos, because yesterday he clearly demonstrated he is our offspring: he made horrified retching faces at a perfectly good and tasty turkey dinner baby food jar and instead dined on rack of lamb like his mamma and pappa.

He’s not picky: he’s just a misunderstood gourmand.


I just had my first “rude customer” moment, and I’m feeling really bashful about it. But I gotta say, it kinda rocked.

Earlier today at That Store Whose Hipness Blinds Us To Its Evil-Corporate-America-Mentality With Its Bull’s-Eye Thingy I needed to make an exchange.

Rev. Mom bought a pumpkin outfit for Herr Meow but it didn’t quite fit. So since I didn’t own the credit card that made the purchase (or had the receipt), I bashfully stood in line and let some very tenderfoot checker do the thing all wrong. She actually did a return and then pretended I bought the SAME OUTFIT, rang me up for it and just sent me on my way. I don’t think she meant to stiff me, but she did. So, back in line; this time I had a competent girl explain to me what I had to do (i.e. get something of the same price or higher, go back to that counter, done).

Found something TOTALLY cute to exchange it (no, no Chie Mihara shoes… but it WAS something for The Meow, and I don’t think they make infant sizes). Go back. Girl who helps me doesn’t understand what I need: while I’m trying to explain what I need, she yawns repeatedly. I’m getting pissed but say nothing.

But then…. oh, then. She just looked past me and started waving at a friend.


The other girl whose help I enlisted barely flinched and started to help me right away. The one girl just smiled and moved away to help another customer (thick skinned anyone?).

She later did apologize and I apologized too. But honestly… what is happening to customer service, people??


Something that makes me happy: THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

It makes me so happy, you have no idea. It’s splurgy, but you can get away with using very little every day. As a matter of fact, if you’re going to splurge, do it on this. It’ll feel like your birthday every time you use it.

This is what happiness smells like. I am serious.


Ah… I feel much better. Until later, y’allz.

This entry was published on October 3, 2006 at 4:46 pm and is filed under Randomata. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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