Call it a game of madLibs gone horribly wrong.
Call it divine inspiration gone a bit sour.
But here it goes– I’ve been singing it for the past 15 minutes and I find it quite catchy, even if you can’t really sing a note of the national anthem. Can I go to jail for this?
Oh say, can you poo?
By the dawn’s early poo!
What so proudly we pooed
At the twilight’s last pooing.
Whose broad stripes and bright poo
Through the perilous poo
O’er the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly pooing (<–my favorite)
And the rockets’ red poo (Eww! Poor rockets!)
The bombs bursting with poo (my only poetic license, “with”)
Gave proof through the night
That our POO was still there!!! (hooray for us, I guess)
Oh say, does that Poop-Spangled Diaper yet pooooooooo?
O’er the land of the wee
And the home of the POOOOOOOOO
I have lost track of how many diapers I’ve changed today, and it’s only 4 pm. The day started at 6 with the colonic stylings of Herr Meow and his Rumbly Symphony in Poo Major. It has not stopped since then.
The baby and I were at Safeway earlier and we saw a woman heft a case of size 5 Huggies into her cart. We exchanged poo-pleasantries and then she parted with, “don’t worry… yours will get to this stage,”
You mean there is even MORE poo than today alone? I seriously cannot imagine this.