A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Herr Meow– Our Benevolent Dictator

My, my, my… this feels so foreign.

I honestly never imagined that it was possible to get excited about poop color, spit-up, not getting sprayed by pee or by smelling someone’s head.

Those Johnson & Johnson people are right, despite the maudlin commercials: a baby does change everything.

Sleep patterns… out the window! Of course, that is always the first thing that anyone tells you regarding children, but you never really want to believe it deep deep inside. We all have that inner delusional paranoid person who thinks that others are out to get us and that they don’t know what they are talking about anyway. Though I must say that we have been lucky that baby likes to sleep about four hours between 3 and 7 am. You have no idea what kind of a difference that makes!


A few observations since I wrote last:

1. Remember that gas that wouldn’t go away? Haha.

That was the beginning of labor. It took me a while to figure out that those were REAL contractions and it only became obnoxiously clear when my “gas” was coming about 5 minutes apart, and lasting for about 45-60 seconds. Yes, I am a ditz.

2. I must say that laboring with no drugs was a bear. I could not have done it without a tubful of water. Whoever realized that warm water helps you dull the pain was a genius. I shall thank them daily from this day forward. I almost broke down and got an epidural, but it coincided with the fact that the pain was THAT intense because I had to start pushing…. so I figured, “might as well!” 14 minutes later, Herr Meow was born.

3. I did forget to say that Meowie –now to be known as Herr Meow– is a boy. Yup. Found out when they passed out our ID bracelets, actually; no dramatic announcement of “It’s a BOY!” echoed through the LDR room. Apparently they showed him to us in his fully naked, recently-born guise and mommy was so out of it at that present moment that she forgot to zero in on his very swollenly impressive genitals. Daddy was the one who had to recap that moment later.

And do you know what? The surprise was totally worth it! I’m still in awe that I was carrying a little baby boy in there. Hell, I’m still in awe that I am sitting NEXT to a little gorgeous little baby boy right now!

4. Breastfeeding is really hard. Really really hard. But we’re getting it, so wish us luck!

5. Hospital food isn’t that bad. Or maybe I was just hungry all the time.

6. Having my baby in arms on my actual due date (yesterday) was surreal. What was most surreal was to think that I thought that day would never ever arrive. And what was second in the “most surreal” list was that I thought that I was HAVING GAS WHEN I WAS REALLY WELL INTO LABOR. Oh, and that I also thought that I’d go past my due date too. All of it. Surreal.

7. Being able to go for an hour without peeing, seeing my nether-regions, lying flat on my back, and walking longer than 5 steps without being miserable are all sources of extreme giddiness and amazement. Who knew?

8. Did I mention my child is gorgeous? If I didn’t, I am doing it now. He is gorgeous. As a matter of fact, he is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen in my entire life. There. I got the mama-bragging out of the way, so I shall go back to adoring my little man in silence. Bragging mamas are obnoxious. I promise not to do that often. Or…… *debates*

9. My brain has run out of things to say for now. Thank you for the well-wishing! I will be back shortly, Zen and sarcastic ;o)

This entry was published on December 8, 2005 at 7:35 pm and is filed under Herr Meow!. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Herr Meow– Our Benevolent Dictator

  1. Oops….I said she in my previous comment. Sorry about that. He’s adorable!

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