A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Another Entry in the Diary of a Mad Pregnant Woman

I had a terrifying dream last night. For some reason I had to go up these elevators with a whole bunch of people –okay, a whole bunch of Hawaiian people (that wasn’t the terrifying part, but in my dream I was the only person who didn’t look Asian, which was a little disgruntling)– only that I don’t remember why I had to go up this elelvator. I just remember parking the car and going up.

Once up in the 37th floor or so (maybe higher, actually), I started to look out the window and could see the plains and the haphazard houses down in the distance. The grasses looked green, and the roads looked red with the Hawaiian soil.

And then the building started to sway. Dangerously.

Apparently I was the only person who seemed absoulutely terrified of the sway of the ENTIRE BUILDING from such a height. I would look down (bad idea) and see the building almost bending down over itself. I would look at mothers clutching their children’s hands, completely unaware of the panic that gripped me.

No one was freaking out, which made my freak-out that much worse and embarrassing.

Finally the elevator came. I stepped in with several people –but I did notice many of the people who were waiting with us held back. I gripped the sides of the elevator, white-knuckled and with my back to the landscape (it was a glass elevator).

The ride was disconcertingly smooth. But upon landing, the former parking lot transformed into a hotel with a very intricate lobby, where people walked around in confusing waves. There were, as before, nothing but Hawaiian-looking people. The only other person who didn’t look in any way Asian was this Michael Caine lookalike who seemed mildly insane, ushering people around. Not that they really needed to be told where to go: these people were an impressive army of 50s silk dresses and suits for the men, who were all wearing hats. I could see bits of waterfront as I aimlessly walked through the lobby. In one area, it even looked as though the whole building was moving –which somehow I knew to be BAD since I’d never get back to my car again.

I knew I needed to find the “down” escalator.

And apparently I must have found it because that’s the last I remember.

Then there was a rumble and one of my favorite nemeses –white Honda guy– was rounding the curve near our house. I awoke long enough to curse him out and go back to sleep.

At least I owe him one now.


1. I started my sixth month of pregnancy. Wow.

2. I feel crafty, and I love Martha Stewart. She is a SAINT!

3. I gotta chuckle at some of the search strings that lead people here. Very entertaining, really.

4. I am a bit annoyed that our impending tropical storm, Fernanda, is not capturing ANY headlines. On the other hand, and in the other coast, tropical storm Irene is the talk of the town. Frilly bitch.

5. The mommy board is abso-friggin-lutely boring these days. I think most of us have plateaued regarding pregnancy these days. Or something.

6. I always remember random bits of trivia to write on here at 2:45 am. Alas, no chance of remembering the truly entertaining ones as I sit here at a reasonable hour. I suppose my brain is not very reasonable.

7. I really want lamb shanks vindaloo from Indigo. Desperately. I can taste it. Oooh…. lamb.

8. We had spaghetti squash with onions and garlic and tomatoes and loads of tomato sauce…… and somehow I am looking forward to the aftermath of the dinner. Who knew pregnancy would make you grateful in such a weird way?

9. I am trying my hand at embroidery. Lookie:

This entry was published on August 11, 2005 at 2:45 pm and is filed under The X-pectant Files. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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