I read this story from Reuters, and I am most displeased:

‘Duchess of Frump’ Wedding America Yawns

I mean…. “Duchess of Frump”? Isn’t there a more clever name they could ever come up with? Doesn’t something cleverer and more exciting rhyme with “Cornwall”? Like, perhaps, “Cornball”? I mean, really…. anything? When poor Fergie was nicknamed the “Duchess of Pork” it was such a stroke of sad, mean genius, that it was really just perfect. But…… frump? I mean…. Camilla may not ever be as gah-juss and charming as poor Lady Di, but she’s not awful-looking. I’d even describe her as a “handsome” older woman. She has a shapely body and she’s active, and she really doesn’t dress awfully –unlike the Queen, whose awful hats have earned her a bad reputation all on their own. So her title, in addition to not being a clever rhyming word with “Cornwall”, sucks really badly and is minorly defamatory.

Now, apparently the Poet Laureate of Britain, Andrew Motion, will be writing them a poem. I don’t see why writing a poem about the occasion would be so hard– like the folks at the NY Times seem to think it might be. Perhaps it is because journalists have run out of inspiration or hit a proverbial cornwall when trying to come up with something clever to call Camilla, and hence they are just having Muse Envy.

Well, I decided to give it the ol’ College Try. Here is my Limerick to the Happiness of the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall (aka “A Cornball Blessing”)

There once was a to-be Duchess of Cornwall,
whose royal wedding was but one-day stonewalled.
I wish her all the best!
May her union be blest
As she weds her much-loved Chuck at the Town Hall!

©M.C.

07 Apr This entry was published on April 7, 2005 at 4:30 pm and is filed under Soapboxing. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.