A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Cleanliness is next to…

Ah….. there are few things as satisfying as a clean house. Sometimes I find it amazing how the cleaning… instinct? Compulsion? Obsession? Mania? Whatever it is, I have found a personal savior in cleaning. This would of course lead you to believe that I have a spotless house and that is simply not true. As I write this, there are dishes piled in the sink. There is dirty laundry in the hamper. And the bug screens have been clamoring for a good cleaning since we moved in here. The stairs need a good sweeping, again. And well… the car could use a bath as well. So see what I mean? I am not a compulsive cleaner. But whenever I do clean, I feel as if I were cleaning my insides as well, so it’s a bit like therapy.

Vacuuming to me is one of the things to get least excited about, but when I gather up all my gumption, courage, and pluck and [insert miscellaneous adjectives to express that it takes a LOT of effort to get me excited] … vacuum, I feel like I’m single-handedly sucking out all the muck inside myself. Alas, that is also the time where creepy-crawlies, bugs, dust bunnies and all sorts of other unsavories also decide to come out, which makes the vacuuming feel like an exorcism-cum-Fear Factor thrown in for gross measure. I sometimes think of how close we came to buying an evil Kirby vacuum cleaner, and sigh. Ah….. how much more Good I could perform in this world by vacuuming with a Kirby! or even a Dyson, really. But the Hoover shall do. Right now, my carpet looks silky and untrodden. Such is the power of a good vacuuming. Then again, that Kirby demo ruined my dumb belief that all vacuums are created equal. Grr.

On the other hand, what I do like is ….. well… I love scrubbing toilets when I’m angry. It’s the best anger management I can ever think of. I focus on the dirt and grime and I simply scrub the living shit out of that nastiness, imagining the person or thing that caused my anger is being fought by the Power Of Comet!!! Okay. I am pretty sure I’m sounding more and more weird by the moment…. however I do heartily recommend cleaning as therapy. Not only will you get some exercise (housework on average burns 100 Calories/hour), get some cleanin’ done, but you will also exorcise the demons in your head.
And if all else fails, the first two are pretty good.

This entry was published on March 24, 2005 at 4:12 pm and is filed under Domestic Bliss. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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