The Upward Climb

I doubt myself all the time.

Thank goodness life tends to happen to us all in spite of ourselves, because otherwise I would spend more time than is dignified in the fetal position, hugging my knees and wondering where I could better hide so as to avoid pain, irritation, and further humiliation.

But my self-doubt –ever-present, unwelcome, and comfy like a hairshirt– keeps me honest, I suppose. And sometimes I can break away from it a little bit.

I can do this.

I can take a picture that speaks (even if it’s just to me), and one that I can go back and look without feeling that pit-of-the-stomach nausea that insincerity can bring about.

I can have moments where things make sense; where the process can be tangible and beautiful; and where, much like with a grand old staircase from long ago, things build upon themselves and my feet feel secure and I can sprint upstairs and simply feel the joy of defying gravity a few inches at a time.

But gravity makes you work for every inch– and how.

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This entry was published on January 21, 2012 at 11:11 pm. It’s filed under Beauty In & Out, The Treacherous Path and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “The Upward Climb

  1. True but then there’s the sense of really defying gravity when we deliberately decide to jump down those stairs rather than walk sedately or even run down them.

    Life will always happen to us without any forewarning. But when we take the moment and make that leap – then we fly.

  2. Oh, self doubt… sorry to say it doesn’t go away with age for some of us. I’m 61 and still feel it every day. I always wish I could go back in life to see where the disconnect happened and just un-do it… there is no re-parenting. Best advice: just do it. Damn the world!

  3. I love the photo. And the sentiments. As a self-doubter, I can relate.

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