And Then There’s the Whole Bit About The Lack of Mustache

Oh jeez.  I'd like to post something witty and funny tonight, but I'm afraid I'm fresh out.  Between the "toddler nap that never came, but when it came it came with such a vengeance that I can't even begin to tell you" affair; and the plumbing problems; and the visit with the plumber; and the Monsieur Meow drilling and on with the drilling because it's so manly; and did I mention the toddler nap that never came; oh and the ickiness in the kishkas that I can't begin to tell you, again; and well, the heat because today was hot; well, let's just say that I'm glad that today is drawing to a close. 

Let's see.  I should share something funny now, because now you're  kind of bored.

_________

Okay.  Before I go, let me pull a semi-J.Lo.
What do I mean by that?  That apparently J.Lo. is very upset that people are paying attention to THAT swimmer, what's-his-face, for stealing the attention away from her commendable triathlon training, six months post-partum.  Ah, J.Lo.  Still talking when people can overhear, still talking out of your very generous ass.

But so yeah.  I don't have a problem with Michael Phelps stealing my spotlight, per se.  But I do have a problem with media outlets and crazed fans suddenly wanting everyone to believe that he, apart from being an amazing and rare athletic talent, is also… hot.

People.  He is not hot.  Accomplished?  Yes.  Talented?  Yes.  Dedicated?  Yes.  Possibly a superspecies of the human varietal, engineered for speed in the water?  Hmm…. maybe, maybe not.  The next Chuck Norris of cyberspace?  Bien sûr!  A good son and brother?  Looks like it. 

But hot?  Okay, no.  Yes, he's got a hot swimmer's body,although personally Ryan Lochte is more to my liking as far as proportions go.  And actual hotness, but you be the judge.

So yes.  He is awesome indeed, but please, mainstream media –I beg of you.  He is not hot.  Please stop trying to sell me his beauty as if it were the Sarah Jessica Parker Commemorative Winning Ticket.  A person can have many other wonderful attributes that can make him or her the Big Pwner of Us All, and happily beauty is overrated– especially for men.

So.  Awesome?  Yes.
Hot in that Sports Illustrated cover?

It's not what I'd call a "Spitzing image."

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This entry was published on August 19, 2008 at 8:53 pm and is filed under Pop Culture. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

6 thoughts on “And Then There’s the Whole Bit About The Lack of Mustache

  1. You definitely had me laughing with the Michael Phelps bit. We’ve been a little Olympic crazy here, and watching many races and interviews. Totally amazing, yes…hot, no.

  2. I’ve not seen any of the Olympics… except what I hear in the news (on the rare occasion that I watch it) … He is a wonderful athlete… (I’ve heard he’s ADHD, which makes him a wonderful example for my son!) His face wouldn’t warrant a second look if I passed him on the street, though… of course, maybe their definition of “hot” has nothing to do with his face, I don’t know…

  3. I never thought Sarah Jessica Parker was all that, either.

  4. cristina on said:

    Not hot.

  5. Hot he is not, I couldn’t agree more!

  6. Sarah Jessica Parker???
    Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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